The Importance of Self-Esteem
You probably don’t stop often to think about your self-esteem. Yet neglecting it can have a serious impact on your mental and physical health. But what is self-esteem? How do you acquire it and why?
According to the Mayo Clinic, “self-esteem is your overall opinion of yourself.” A person with high self-esteem believes that he or she has worth. A person with that quality believes that his or her beliefs, opinions, and feelings have value. He or she has a positive outlook for himself or herself.
People with good or healthy self-esteem have good opinions of themselves but also accurate views of whatever flaws they might have. The Mayo Clinic’s definition means that self-esteem is different from narcissism, a feeling that one is always right and that nothing can contradict that belief.
More-Selfesteem.com lists a number of reasons why self-esteem is important. Good self-esteem can help people:
Foster better relationships.
Performer better at school and work.
Take care of themselves and pay attention to their needs.
Find overall happiness.
Make better choices.
Reduce feelings of depression and anxiety.
Possess positive body images.
Create self-confidence.
Achieve better physical health.
Having and maintaining a healthy sense of self-esteem has a host of benefits that could enhance your mental health, physical well-being, and ability to function effectively in social situations.
The Downfalls of Low Self-Esteem
While high self-esteem can create a variety of benefits, low self-esteem can cause a host of problems. The University of Texas at Austin Counseling and Mental Health Center describes the nature of low self-esteem and its consequences.
It says that there are three faces of people who are coping with low self-esteem: the imposter, the rebel, and the victim.
To all outward observers, the imposter is successful and happy, but on the inside is struggling with anxiety and fear. He or she is obsessed with keeping up appearances but is frequently on the edge of a mental breakdown.
Meanwhile, the rebel pretends that the opinions of others do not matter and is constantly pushing back against criticism and a feeling that they are not quite right. They blame others or uncontrollable circumstances for their failures. In short, a rebel overcompensates for low self-esteem.
Finally, the victim readily looks to others for help instead of tackling things himself or herself. They might exhibit self-pity, unassertiveness, and passivity.
Low self-esteem can have devastating consequences. A person suffering from it can experience emotions such as anxiety, depression, and loneliness. These feelings can lead to problems forming and maintaining healthy friendships and romantic relationships. They can affect academic and job performance.
A person with low self-esteem might also attempt to medicate the condition with alcohol or drugs. This can spiral into an addiction that could lead to a trip to rehab, illness, or death.
Ways to Build Your Self-Esteem
If someone lacks self-esteem, how can they acquire or build it?
The University of Texas at Austin Counseling and Mental Health Center has some helpful suggestions. Essentially, if you lack self-esteem, you should challenge that inner voice that says that you’re not good enough, forgive yourself when you fall short (which everyone does), and seek help from others.
Arguing with That Inner Critic
A person with low self-esteem is always second-guessing his or her accomplishments and character. Did that project I turned in at work really meet management’s requirements? Was that joke I told during that conversation really all that funny? Do I look good enough, dress well enough, and behave in an appealing manner?
The trick to responding to this inner, hypercritical voice is to argue with it. Recognize your good points and not try to measure them against some imaginary standard of perfection that, frankly, no one can achieve. After having this inner dialogue, you might find that you are not only a good person, but an exceptional one.
Dealing with Setbacks
Next, remember that no one is perfect, and everyone suffers setbacks.
Did that romantic relationship end badly? The proper response is not to believe that you are doomed to die alone and miserable. The proper response is to learn from the experience and apply these lessons to future situations.
You can apply those same principles to your professional life. Many people have had the experience of being fired from a job. It can be embarrassing and a potentially huge blow to a person’s self-esteem. Instead of believing that you don’t deserve to have a good job, it’s more constructive to analyze what went wrong and resolve to do better in future positions.
Finding Validation and Advice from Others
Friends and family members can be good sources of validation and advice. You may be surprised to learn that they see good things in you that you don’t even recognize. Hearing validation from someone you love and respect can be an effective way to boost self-esteem.
The same principle applies to people in authority. Teachers, managers, and religious leaders can be sources of validation and good advice. If you think you’re falling short, authority figures who are familiar with you might offer self-improvement advice as well as encouragement.
If you’re really struggling, consider going to therapy. There’s no shame in seeking help from a mental health professional. Maladies of the mind, such as low self-esteem, can be just as debilitating as physical kinds.
You may be surprised at the sort of help and advice you can receive from people with training and experience. Don’t worry about being judged because they’re professionals and have heard all sorts of things from other clients.
Just remember that while low self-esteem can be debilitating, it’s a condition that can be overcome.
Author: Pamela Zuber
Pamela Zuber has been a writer and editor at Sunshine Behavioral Health since 2016. Her writing has appeared on several websites as well as in numerous reference books and databases. After earning a degree in English and communication from the University of Michigan and a history degree from Oakland University, she continues to learn and apply her newfound knowledge to her writing. She hopes her work can inform readers, help them find assistance, and eliminate stigmas about addiction and mental health conditions.
